Q: HOW HOT IS IT?!?

Piven: 'Shine on you crazy blowjob'

A: It's SO hot... that when I opened my front door to get the mail, I was immediately raped by Lindsay Lohan!!!

I don't know if that makes sense. It's too hot to care.

In related news, Lohan recently found herself on the receiving end of a stern rebuke from a studio exec for her recen... oh, who gives a fuck? Isn't there like a war going on or something?

As for hottie-related violence, getting sexually assaulted by Lindsay Lohan ranks way higher on the awesomeness scale than being run over by the Girls Gone Wild bus.