Q: Does what goes around come around, and also vice versa?

A: You best believe it, bitches. And when I say "bitches," I mean "esteemed readers." Anywaysies: for evidence of the above eternal truth, look no further than tonight's karma-heavy headlines.

#1) The Toronto Star: Church to probe priest who fondled Foley.

Dayyyayumn, church! That is some serious eye-for-an-eye shit, Old Testament-stizzazz!

Now all we need is for several congressional pages to rape that church's congregation, and the circle of fuck will finally be complete. At which point we can go back to our normal lives, hunting down the killer of JonBenet Ramsey.

#2) MLB.com: Cameras notice spot on [Kenny] Rogers' hand.

Wow. The implications of this story are so intense, I can't even begin to make sense of them. In fact, I have literally no idea what any of that story means.

Do note, however, that the cameras were probably biased, as they have sought revenge on Kenny Rogers ever since he punched one of them in the face a year ago. Revenge is sweet, isn't it, cameras? Not sweet enough to mess with Rogers' bizarre mutation into Cy Young, but sweet nonetheless. Or whatever.

The moral of the story is, don't fuck with cameras or Florida churches, unless you want to get accused of cheating and anally violated. If you enjoy both, however, I recommend punching a cameraman at a Miami baptism.