Q: Is it hot in here, or is it just my 16-year-old page?

A: Good news is pouring into T.A.M.S.Y. today from Washington D.C.'s drunken witch doctors, a.k.a. the pollsters.

"Democrats have big lead after sex scandal," crows the Reuters headline, with new polls from Gallup and CNN showing the Dems up by an astounding 23 and 21 points, respectively. All of which bodes well for Blue Man Group's chances of overtaking the Red Army come Election Day. Huzzah, yay, etc.

As tough as times are, though, for Mark Foley and his former peers in the Republican-led Congress, the Washington Post wants you to know that it's even worse than you think. Apparently, it's not just their careers at stake anymore; the Republicans' incompetence now threatens to destroy the entire Earth:


I'm not a scientist, so I'm not entirely clear on what all this has to do with global warming. My theory: Ohio voters' passion for Senate candidate Sherrod Brown now burns so hot that it's melting the ozone. Either that, or Foley had a long weekend of instant messaging.

So when you punch out your ballot this Election Day, dear readers, T.A.M.S.Y. implores you to keep two things in mind: Remember to vote Democrat, and don't forget to wear sunscreen.

BTW: Sorry T.A.M.S.Y.'s been so quiet lately. Also, sorry T.A.M.S.Y.'s been so ugly. I recently upgraded to Blogger Beta (powered by my beloved Google!), and it's great, except no one mentioned that I was going to have to learn XML in order to make it look right. I should get around to that one of these days, or whatever.