Q: Did you hear the one about the mysterious disappearance of Jesus' foreskin?

J.C. Uncut: "Um, guys? You're kind of weirding me out here."

A: That's not the elaborate setup for a joke. It's the elaborate setup for an actual news story: Who Stole Jesus' Foreskin? [Slate]

And if you think that sounds weird, trust me, it's way weirder than you think. I don't want to give too much away, but just consider the following tidbits:

• Jesus Christ's foreskin was the pride of an Italian city for over 400 years...
• And officially recognized as a holy relic by the Vatican...
• Until 1900, when the Catholic Church opted to cancel the annual Feast of the Circumcision...
• At which point it banned anyone from ever mentioning the foreskin again.
• And then recently, it was stolen, probably either by the Vatican or hippies.

Really. No, seriously. I'm not joking. Read the story.

And Americans think Islam is weird?