Q: Why am I crying tears of liquid magnesium?
A: During a very dark period of my life, I tried to kill myself. I took every pill in the bottle.
Unfortunately, the only bottle in the medicine cabinet was Flintstones Vitamins.
I shouldn't say "unfortunately." It really was a fortunate turn of events. Not only because I didn't die, but also because it turned out that the only reason I had been so depressed was my undiagnosed scurvy.
But taking an entire bottle of children's vitamins will do strange things to a man-child. I had a strange series of visions — some of which I videotaped, and then posted on YouTube.
Mmmmm... Dino wins indeed.
NOTE: This joke might be funnier if I didn't turn out to be the one millionth person to make it.
Whatever. Today's T.A.M.S.Y. is sponsored by Winston Cigarettes, because nothing will make you forget about your scurvy faster than lung cancer.
one lonely comment:
You've got to listen to the March 17th episode of This American Life to hear the new Jonathan Goldstein story. It's a Fred and Barney piece. How do I know? Because I was at the taping of the show. I get to attend such events as a citizen of the greatest city on Earth.
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