Q: So what should we call this movie in which disturbing things happen in the suburbs?

A: Suburban Disturbance!

B: It's clunky. What else you got?

A: Disturbed 'Burbs!

B: Stupid.

A: Suburbisturbing!

B: No.

A: Disturbia!

B: JACKPOT!!!

At least, I assume that's how it went.

A member of the Cleveland LJ community just posted the news that Case Western's film society would be screening Disturbia for free Thursday. I thought I'd do some poking around on the Web to see if it'd be worth the zero dollars to check it out.

I was skeptical, because usually when you name your film Disturbia, it means no one's really trying. But the things I learned... may surprise you.

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THREE THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE FILM DISTURBIA

In this scene, Disturbia's stars — Shia "Would you like to buy a vowel" LaBeouf and Sarah "ROEMer!? I barely even KNOW 'er" Roemer — find themselves disturbed in suburbia.

1. It's called Disturbia, really. That's the name they came up with over at DreamWorks. Because it's set in suburbia. And it's disturbing. Disturbia. Official title. Too late to change it. Already bought the URL and everything.

2. The tagline for Disturbia is "Every killer lives next door to someone." Really.

DreamWorks, baby, c'mon. Are you fricking kidding me? Are you fridding me? Is this a tax write-off of some kind?

B: All we need now is a tagline.

A: What about "Every killer lives ne—"

B: Sure, whatever, who fucking cares. We need to find more cocaine.

#3: If you were getting the impression that no one was even trying here, I refer you to the advance review now on IMDb, entitled There was a boom mic in EVERY SINGLE SHOT:

I gave this movie a six because, despite the constant presence of boom mics, it actually got my heart racing once or twice and the acting was quite good. Seriously, though, there's a microphone in nearly every shot.