Q: What do Don Imus and T.A.M.S.Y. have in common?
A: Last month, I received a delightful bit of news: surprisinger.com had become Google's top-ranked result for the query offensive asshole. Finally! After all these years of shouting my love from the rooftops, it warmed my cockles to discover Google was getting to know the real T.A.M.S.Y.
Of course, the mainstream media got totally threatened, and promptly retaliated. Now I'm playing second banana to some other guy from Cleveland.
THIS WILL NOT STAND. In an effort to retrieve my title, I hereby embark on a mission to offend every demographic on Earth, one by one. I'm starting with gay African Americans.
So, hey, what's the deal with all these gay African Americans?
That's some snappy-threaded bros there. I'm gonna tell you that now, man, that's some — woo.
NEXT WEEK: Deceased Hawaiians. No, wait, I already did that one.
Man, this is going to be tough. I mean, Google is already aware of my brave stance on women.
