Q: Why is the U.S. Army now recruiting lions and wardrobes?

A: After a decade of squabbling, the Department of Veteran Affairs is officially recognizing Wicca as a religion. As of Monday, the Wiccan pentacle is among 38 other religious symbols available to be engraved on veterans' headstones.

"I don't know why I bear arms! The Wiccan code says 'Do no harm!'"

As the New York Times reports, those representing Wiccans "attributed the delay to religious discrimination. Many Americans do not consider Wicca a religion, or hold the mistaken belief that Wiccans are devil worshipers."

Wicca, it should be noted, is not Satanic. It's witchcraft. Crazy witchcraft. Although, you know, it's strictly taboooooooooo.

More precisely, Wicca is "a type of pre-Christian belief that reveres nature and its cycles." So, you know, basically Unitarianism with a cooler logo.

By the way, there are 1,800 Wiccans in the U.S. military! Who knew? Also, who knew there were 39 viable religions? Granted, one of the religions is "atheism" (Scientology = surprisingly, refreshingly not listed).

This would be great news for Willow Rosenberg, but unfortunately, the military still doesn't recognize gay as a sexuality.