Q: What are Jay-Z's 99 non-bitch-related problems?

99 PROBLEMS JAY-Z HAS, NONE OF WHICH IS A BITCH:

• Mild indigestion
• Wants to switch to Cingular; still has 18 months remaining on contract with T-Mobile
• Can't remember where he put iPod
  
• Neighborhood convenience store no longer carries favorite variety of Fresh Samantha
• Comeback album kind of boring
• Got the rap patrol on the gat patrol
• Is being attacked by 92 Jack Russell Terriers (all male)
• LeBron

---

Jay-Z vs. The Beatles
99 Problems
Danger Mouse Presents the Grey Album, 2004

SPEAKING OF WHICH: I always wondered what having the rap patrol on the gat patrol entailed, exactly. Hurray for rapper Wikipedia.