Q: Is Bill Kristol the Jonathan Swift of our time?

Kristol: The sneers of a clown

A: Weekly Standard editor and cutting-edge satirist William Kristol wrote a knee-slappingly hilarious editorial for yesterday's Washington Post, "Why Bush Will Be a Winner." I laughed so hard, I shot like a gallon of milk through my nose — and I wasn't even drinking milk!

Kristol packs in such zingers as,

Let's step back from the unnecessary mistakes and the self-inflicted wounds that have characterized the Bush administration. Let's look at the broad forest rather than the often unlovely trees. What do we see?

Hahahahaha! See, it's funny, because you'd have to step back so far, you'd be on like Jupiter.

I hate to give away all the punchlines, but this is his conclusion:

What it comes down to is this: If Petraeus succeeds in Iraq, and a Republican wins in 2008, Bush will be viewed as a successful president.

I like the odds.

OH GOD STOP CAN'T BREATHE!

I haven't read much Weekly Standard, but Alfred E. Newman better watch his back! There's a new funnyman in town!!!!

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POSTSCRIPT: Arianna Huffington is under the impression Kristol's whimsical essay was meant literally (she probably thought "A Modest Proposal" was really about eating babies, too). Huffington claims to have ridden in the same Amtrak car with Kristol last week; presumably this occurred in the seventh circle of hell.

Meanwhile, Andrew Sullivan may be onto something. -- 3:13PM