Q: Oh Ron Paul enthusiasts, what won't you say?
A: Those of you who live outside the Internet might not be aware that there are millions of young nerds who've become unhealthily obsessed with Texas Congressman and Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul. 
Actually, it might only be thousands of young nerds, or hundreds, or twelve, but they are extremely persistent and outspoken — by which I mean paranoid and annoying — and have perhaps been effective over the past few months in spreading their message — by which I mean drilling it into everyone's face.
(None of which is to say that Ron Paul isn't a better candidate than the other Republicans running. He is. But then, my cat is a better candidate than the other Republicans running.)
As a result of the grassroots campaign, targeted to social networking sites like Digg and Reddit and random message boards everywhere and probably soon my comments section, Paul allegedly has more money than John "Going Off the Rails on a Crazy" McCain. Either that, or Paul's just really bad at math.
One of the favorite hobbies — maybe the favoritest hobby — of the Ron Paul Liberation Army is to attack the media for its anti-Ron Paul propagandist lies. (Some might argue it'd be difficult for the press to underestimate a candidate whose standing in the polls is between two and zero percent, but hey, maybe the pollsters are just anti-Ron Paul propagandist liars.) This constant yammering about the media conspiracy to whatever whatever would be much more bearable if Ron Paul's posse weren't such propagandist liars themselves.
- ACTUAL HEADLINE: Paul rises from GOP unknown to 'sleeper'
- ACTUAL CONTENT: "Though political pros say Mr. Paul's chances of moving into the White House are between slim and none, some expect him to have an effect on the Republican race."
- REVISED HEADLINE AS IT APPEARS ON REDDIT: Dr. Ron Paul Rises From Republican Unknown to a Leading Contender for GOP Nomination
BREAKING NEWS: Mitt Romney just squared off in a debate against my cat. Romney spoke for around 25 minutes, and then my cat vomited. After judges reviewed the facts, the winner celebrated her victory with Fancy Feast.
She was then run over by Mormons.
9 comments:
"the government, like a highwayman, says to a man: "Your money, or your life." And many, if not most, taxes are paid under the compulsion of that threat. The government does not, indeed, waylay a man in a lonely place, spring upon him from the roadside, and, holding a pistol to his head, proceed to rifle his pockets. But the robbery is none the less a robbery on that account; and it is far more dastardly and shameful. The highwayman takes solely upon himself the responsibility, danger, and crime of his own act. He does not pretend that he has any rightful claim to your money, or that he intends to use it for your own benefit. He does not pretend to be anything but a robber. He has not acquired impudence enough to profess to be merely a "protector," and that he takes men's money against their will, merely to enable him to "protect" those infatuated travellers, who feel perfectly able to protect themselves, or do not appreciate his peculiar system of protection. He is too sensible a man to make such professions as these. Furthermore, having taken your money, he leaves you, as you wish him to do. He does not persist in following you on the road, against your will; assuming to be your rightful "sovereign," on account of the "protection" he affords you. He does not keep "protecting" you, by commanding you to bow down and serve him; by requiring you to do this, and forbidding you to do that; by robbing you of more money as often as he finds it for his interest or pleasure to do so; and by branding you as a rebel, a traitor, and an enemy to your country, and shooting you down without mercy, if you dispute his authority, or resist his demands. He is too much of a gentleman to be guilty of such impostures, and insults, and villainies as these. In short, he does not, in addition to robbing you, attempt to make you either his dupe or his slave. " -Lysander Spooner
BravoLima
I'm not young, or a nerd, but I
support Dr. Paul's candidacy. What
won't Ron Paul supporters say? "We
give up on America, the
Constitution, the Republic, Liberty, and Personal Freedoms!"
Put that in your pipe and smoke it,
comrade!
Yet another publicity thief attempting to get their own piece of the Ron Paul phenomenon. Who do you think you're fooling?
Om emminder vardhaye shteriyame ma emam vishmek virsham kirinu tawan
By their comments ye shall know them.
I think they proved your point better than you did, Dean.
Sarpon,
That was a rude comment. In fact, the premise of this blog entry is road. Your cat is a better candidate?
Choice A: War-mongering neocons.
Choice B: Spineless Democrats.
Choice C: Ron Paul, an honest politician who will follow U.S. Constitution, downsize DC, end personal income tax, bring all troops home, end preemptive war, protect our borders -- not everyone else's, and protect civil liberties.
Hm, this is a tough one... What should we do?
_________________
"All of us have heard this term "preventive war" since the earliest days of Hitler... I wouldn't even listen to anyone seriously that came in and talked about such a thing."
Dwight D. Eisenhower
August 11, 1954
I didn't say my cat was a better candidate than Ron Paul. I said my cat was a better candidate than Mitt Romney. I stand by that.
You gotta love these bloggers grasping for readers...
'Ron Paul' post, 7 comments...previous 5 posts comments, 0,0,2,0,0 respectively.
It's ok bloggers, we don't mind if you ride on the coattails of Ron Paul LOL
You are so on to me. Blog comments are to me what planets are to Galactus.
(See, I'm fluent in nerd.)
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