Q: What's surprising about a Republican politician being outed as gay and/or into hookers?

A: Nothing. Under normal circumstances, the story of a Republican politician running around banging hookers, or gay hookers, is what people in D.C. like to call "the weekend." Or just "nighttime." Or "being awake."

For one thing, getting caught with hookers is totally hip and getting hipper. And by now, it can safely be assumed that all Republican political figures — especially the ragingly homophobic among them — have caught gay.¹ It's barely even news anymore, let alone surprisinger^TM news.

In Florida, though, everything's a little more shall we say complicated.

TITUSVILLE -- Florida Rep. Robert "Bob" Allen, R-Merritt Island, was arrested this afternoon at Veteran's Memorial Park on East Broad Street for solicitation for prostitution.

He is currently being booked into Brevard County Jail in Sharpes. The charge is a second-degree misdemeanor, according to police.

Yawn. Snore. Zzz. It's by no means surprising that Bob Allen has an alleged taste for prostitution. It's not even surprising when, in the next paragraph, it turns out to be gay prostitution. And it's only a teensy bit surprising when it's revealed that Allen wasn't looking for a prostitute — he was prostituting himself.

No, the surprise here isn't that Rep. Allen allegedly moonlights as a gay hooker. It's that he moonlights as an extremely cheap hooker.

According to police, the park was under surveillance today by a detail of undercover Titusville Police officers. Officers noticed Allen acting suspicious as he went in and out of the men’s restroom three times. Minutes later, he solicited an undercover male officer inside the restroom, offering to perform oral sex for $20.

Florida Rep. Bob Allen: They call that a bargain — the best I ever had.

What is happening to the Republican Party when one of its members is willing to blow a stranger for twenty bucks? Twenty bucks!? If Reagan were still alive and a gay hooker, I assure you he would take nothing less than $50, minimum. Either Allen should be ashamed of himself, or else he gives terrible beejes, for which he should be ashamed of himself.

The other surprising thing is that, unlike all other recently disgraced Republicans, Allen wasn't working for the Giuliani campaign. He was working for McCain.

Of course, the fact that it all took place in a state park men's restroom is so overwhelmingly unsurprising as to render all other related surprises nil. So let's move on.

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¹ The only Republican who isn't gay is teleportational date rapist George W. Bush. Well, okay, he was a little bi in the 80s, but who wasn't a little bi in the 80s? From what I remember of 1984, it was all cocaine and sodomy. Granted, I was only four, but I ran with a kind of wild crowd.