Q: Why is Osama bin Laden putting the lime in the coconut?

A: As I noted here, Osama bin Laden "was last known to be suffering from health issues that include a weak kidney, diabetes, osteoporosis, an enlarged heart, low blood pressure, a probable chest wound and possibly cancer." I should note I forgot to mention two important conditions: (1) typhoid, and, more poignantly, (2) hypochondria.

But if he thought his health problems were a drag before, now he's got real trouble.

• Bin Laden 'virtually impotent' [CNN Int'l]

Bet he could still get it up for Whitney Houston.

ELSEWHERE: Queer Eye for the Jihadist Guy [Sully]

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Harry Nilsson
Coconut
Nilsson Schmilsson [buy], 1971