Q: Will Dianetics save the economy?

A: As the U.S. banking system creeps towards nationalization, the FDIC is running our biggest (i.e., most worthless) banks through "stress tests". I find this deeply troubling -- the last time I took a free stress test, I ended up giving three million dollars to Giovanni Ribisi.

Are you there, Xenu? It's me, Ben Bernanke.

On the bright side, they did manage to completely cleanse the engrams from my thetan.

And speaking of getting religion, here's Paul Krugman working his voodoo on reviving zombie banks.