The Answer May Surprise You
Showing posts with label americans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label americans. Show all posts

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Q: How could political discourse in America possibly get any stupider?

A: It can't. It would be literally impossible.

UNTIL NOW.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Q: Does it take a nation of millions of Mexicans to hold Lou Dobbs back?

A: I don't know, but it only takes 303 counties of Mexicans to make Lou Dobbs cry. I mean, probably.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Q: What's the hottest American obsession of 2007?

A: Zee News India has the surprisinger scoop:

Sanjaya becoming the biggest obsession of Americans this year

While many may consider him vocally challenged, there is no doubt that Sanjaya Malakar is becoming the biggest obsession of Americans that is making its way into national political debate.

During a radio call-in on WOKQ-FM, Hillary Clinton was asked what the United States can do about Sanjaya, the American Idol underdog who has confounded his critics by surviving deep into the voting on this season`s programme.

"That's the best question I`ve been asked in a long time," Clinton said.
And you thought political discourse in America was dead!?

Anyway, Zee News' grammar may be crooked, but its reportage is stellar. In what is probably the top news of the week, scientists recently announced that Sanjaya has rocketed to the top of America's obsession charts '07.

Is Sanjaya Malakar hotter than meth? The answer may surprise you
On a related note, what is a Sanjaya?

EARLIER: Why the terrorists hate you | t.a.m.s.y. on meth

Friday, March 30, 2007

Q: You know what's an even better way to subvert "American Idol"?

A: BY NOT WATCHING AMERICAN IDOL. And especially by not blogging about American Idol. Oy fucking vey, people. Please avert your eyes, I need to go on a

CRAZY OLD MAN RANT: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, AMERICA? IS YOUR BRAIN ON FIRE!?! WHY ARE WE ALL STILL WATCHING TERRIBLE SHOWS ABOUT ANNOYING PEOPLE SINGING TERRIBLE MUSIC TERRIBLY!?!? WHEN IS THIS PHASE OF AMERICAN CULTURE GOING TO BE OVER?!?! PLEASE? ANYONE?

WHY THE TERRORISTS HATE US: Arrested Development = cancelled. Freaks & Geeks and Mr. Show = cancelled (a million years ago, but still the pain lingers). Stella = cancelled. But American Dad? Inexplicably not cancelled. Two & a Half Men = America's #1 comedy. Everybody Loves Raymond = in syndication for the next 300 years. Mind of Mencia = get ready for an exciting new season!!! Becker = existed. CBS = still a network. American Idol = WATCHED BY 40 BILLION PEOPLE.

The United States of Retardica
(It's also possible that I'm just annoyed Andrew Sullivan somehow has time to watch American Idol, in between posting to his blog 400 times daily, reading all known newspapers, magazines, insane Conservative bloggers and books, making frequent radio and television appearances, keeping in touch with surreal European sports, smoking tons of weed, and performing his actual job as Senior Editor of the Atlantic. I am now 100% positive that he is repeatedly cloning himself. And that the cloning turns out to be exactly as portrayed in Multiplicity, with each clone a tiny bit dumber than the previous one, and that it's the 700th clone who watches American Idol.)

EARLIER: Are Americans total idiots?