Q: Gay abortion doctors caused 9/11?

A: That's the takeaway from the New York Times' coverage of Barack Obama's Philly stemwinder:

“The thing that would really help him is if Reverend Wright came out and apologized,” said Michael Cromartie, vice president of the Ethics and Public Policy Center, a conservative group that studies religious issues and public policy. One of Mr. Wright’s most criticized comments is his assertion that corrupt United States foreign policy brought about the Sept. 11 attacks; now he must retract that statement, said Mr. Cromartie, just as the Rev. Jerry Falwell apologized after he blamed the attacks in part on gay people and those who have performed abortions.

See? Gays and abortion doctors are no more to blame for 9/11 than corrupt United States foreigh policy!

By which I mean THE GAYS CAUSED 9/11. Possibly aided by the Teletubbies.

Q: Am I prepared to call the media wrong about Missouri?

A: Most media outlets are calling Missouri for Clinton, but Obama has a 5K vote lead with 98% of precincts voting. By my math, there are only 17,000 votes left to be counted.

WTF, most media outlets?! YOU RACIST BASTARDS NEED NEW ABACUSES.

That's all I got for now. More soon. Go Obama.

UPDATE: This was a world exclusive. You're welcome. -- 04/05/08

Q: The lady or the paper tiger? (or: Is Karl Rove rooting for Hillary Clinton?)

Rove: "Pay no attention to the viable candidate on the right"...?

A: At first, the idea presented in this L.A. Times piece from yesterday seems crazy: Clinton may be a target of Rove's reverse psychology. But is it so crazy, it just might work have already worked?

In the run-up to the 2004 Democratic National Convention, when it was not yet clear who George W. Bush's opponent would be that November, Rove and his aides had begun to fear that their most dangerous foe would be then-Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina.

With his Southern base, charismatic style and populist message, Edwards, they believed, could be a real threat to Bush's reelection.

But instead of attacking Edwards, Rove's team opened fire at John Kerry.

Their thinking went like this, Dowd explained: Democrats, in a knee-jerk reaction to GOP attacks, would rally around Kerry, whom Rove considered a comparatively weak opponent, and make him the party's nominee. Thus Bush would be spared from confronting Edwards, the candidate Republican strategists actually feared most.

Rove has plenty of reasons to prefer Clinton to Barack Obama. Even if Clinton beats whatever dope the GOP nominates, she'll still be a divisive figure her political opponents can marginalize, just as they did when she was First Lady. She's not going to be the Democrats' Ronald Reagan. Obama could change things significantly -- both in terms of pushing through policy and shifting rhetoric -- in ways Hillary can't and won't.

Everyone should be voting Obama. Have I mentioned this?