Q: Why is tomorrow going to be the T.A.M.S.Y.-est day ever?

Q: I'm devoting tonight to tagging, finally, T.A.M.S.Y.'s archives (most of which were written prior to Blogger's implementing tags) -- but as I mentioned before, this might cause some annoyances for those who subscribe to my RSS feed.

As loyal reader and tech guru Jordan pointed out, one semi-workaround would be to post a bunch of new material in an effort to elbow the old stuff out of the way.

So tomorrow, I'm going to shatter all kinds of personal records with a guaranteed full day of blogging: one post per hour, from 8AM to 4PM. Expect plenty of titillating links, prostrate hotties, new music and old jokes. I encourage you to blow off work constantly, lest you fall behind.

I'm also going to install a tag cloud, if such a thing is currently possible (as of this writing, TagCloud.com remains smothered under the weight of its own success).

Q: Am I going to win a Nintendo Wii?

A: Yes. There's really no surprise here; I am simply going to win this contest, using my heretofore untapped skills in camera-phone photoblogging.

The only question is what my award-winning story should be about. Any ideas?

Keep in mind, the entries are going to be voted on by nerds, so there'll have to be (1) references to how the PlayStation 3 sucks, (2) references to how the Zune sucks, (3) use of the word "pwnage," and (4) hot girls.

On a related note, I just downloaded the Opera Mini Web browser onto my Sony Ericsson, and it's pretty sweet (and extremely easy to use). If you use your cell phone to access the Internet (or if you want to), check it out. Aside from the ostensibly pointless photo-sharing capabilities, it also features a handy RSS reader.

Use it to subscribe T.A.M.S.Y.'s hand-picked news wire, so you'll always have me around to control what you're allowed to look at. It'll be just like dating me!

On a related note, I just discovered that The Answer May Surprise You is available on the mobile Internet. Who knew!? Just Google "tamsy" from Opera Mini's homepage, or look for the link on simakis.com. If you're ever trapped under a collapsed building, now you how to use what little remains of your cellular battery.

Q: Is woe me?

A: As previously mentioned, I've been lax in my bloggage duties lately, owing to a combination of stress and listlessness. I feel considerably more listful today -- indeed, speaking relatively, I'm a veritable font of list -- so I'm trying to take advantage before my soul is plunged back into the abyss.

Of course, for me, these brief moments of motivation are inextricably tied to obsessive-compulsion, which tonight means I'm going to be adding labels to all my old posts, among other new features you won't notice or care about.

DIGrssION: The downside of this, to the handful of you who read T.A.M.S.Y. via my RSS feed, is that you're going to be briefly inundated with my entire archives for no reason. Sorry. Hopefully your RSS feeder has a "Mark all as read" feature (like that of the oft-recommended Google Reader). Otherwise, I hope you're looking forward to refamiliarizing yourself with my oeuvre. If anyone has any idea how to prevent such occurrences of RSS spam (Jordan, I'm glancing in your direction), now would be the time to mention it.

If the Muse permits, I'll also be debuting an exciting new reoccurring column, What's On Your Mind, America?, that is certain to send you hurdling off the brink of orgasm. Plus, I'll try to post a few mp3s, including new stuff from Deerhoof, Gwen Stefani and/or the Brazilian Girls. And if there's time, a series of photos taken from within Britney Spears' cervix, as per the newly mandated blog quota.

Oh, by the way, the Proust poster up top comes via this handy auto-Motivator machine. It's even more fun than the Bart Simpson Chalkboard Generator!

Q: What are you doing in my absence?

A: Crying hysterically, I know.

Sorry things've been so quiet on the T.A.M.S.Y. front this past week. I'm trying to get some actual work done. You know, just for the sake of variety. In the meantime, take a look at the new additions to my sidebar, now featuring three delightful RSS feeds for your perusing pleasure:

Baby: "Holy shit, I love RSS feeds!!!"

(1) T.A.M.S.Y.-Tested News + Notes: Hand-picked highlights from around the blogosphere. Updated multiple times per day, except for when I forget.

(2) Falcor's Posse Has an RSS Feed: The latest in bloggage from the people I know, love and/or want to put it to. Updated IN REAL TIME!!! courtesy of modern technology.

(3) Cleveland Sports Heroin Needle: Everything you need to know about the latest crippling Browns loss, failed Indians free-agent signing or lawsuit involving LeBron James' mom. Also updated in real time, so you won't have to miss a single agonizing detail.

What this means for you, loyal readers, is that even when I'm too busy / lazy / depressed / drug-addled / deceased to blog, you can always rely on The Answer May Surprise You for sexy new content to distract you from your suffocating livelihood. Hurray for my generosity.

The RSS feeds are all made possible by my girlfriend Google. Get started with your own Google Reader account, and someday you too will know the joy of forcing content on your acquaintances.

Oh, yeah, I've also added FREE Snap Preview Anywhere^TM capabilities to the site, which you may have already noticed if you hovered your cursor over any of these links. This feature falls somewhere between "annoying" and "merely useless," I can't quite decide.

Q: What time is it (in Nerd Valley)?

A: Time to set up that RSS feed reader you've been meaning to set up.

And on that note, the new Google Reader totally kicks ass. I might even start updating My Starred Items again (by the way, somebody let me know if that link doesn't work).

Plus, if you use the very handy Firefox extension Greasemonkey, blogger persistent.info created a script allowing you to access your feeds via your gmail account. Good times.

And if you have no idea what the fuck any of this means, congratulations, you're not a nerd.