The Answer May Surprise You
Showing posts with label magazines. Show all posts
Showing posts with label magazines. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Q: Were you fooled by the rocks that she got, or do you acknowledge that she continues to be Jenny from the block?

A: Hey, look who decided to be famous again.

Jennifer Lopez says 'Fashion rocks!' or something
For some reason, the above magazine thing showed up in the mail with this week's New Yorker (and, apparently, all Conde Nast publications). Good thing, because I very nearly forgot Jennifer Lopez existed. Apparently someone still owed her a magazine cover from 2003, so this happened. Also, apparently corsets are the hot item for fall, 2007. I'm ordering mine right now.

You know this magazine must be cutting edge from how they say "ROCKS" right on the cover. Conde Nast is up on all the latest street jive.

But I can't help but be disappointed that Jennifer Lopez emerged from her fortress of solitude to announce her new album/film/husband/ whatever, because the original cover they'd planned rocked even rockier.

Don't be fooled by the rocks that he got, Simon le Bon is still hungry like the wolf

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Q: What do you get when you cross Vanity Fair with Maxim?

A: A stupid magazine that no one likes. Also, who knew they still publish Details?


Back in my gangly teenage days, Details was the epitome of cool. To me, anyway. Mostly that was thanks to a young-ish Rob Sheffield, who wrote every single music review in the magazine (before eventually being snatched up by Rolling Stone). Month after month, Sheffield's section introduced me to the music that made life bearable(Endtroducing..., The Great Escape, Moon Safari) and simultaneously to the writing style I would imitate poorly for the next several decades. As would, possibly, Sheffield himself.

Back then, though, he was in complete control, both stylistically and editorially (or so it seemed). And things were never the same after he moved to RS, either for him or for Details, which within a year had become total crap. All the enjoyable writers jumped ship; Glenn O'Brien took his Style Guy shtick elsewhere; and the relentlessly brilliant features writer Chris Heath ran off to write a biography of Robbie fucking Williams, thus becoming dead to me.

Granted, I was around 17 at the time, so I don't know whether the magazine was actually as great as I thought it was. It might have been I was just a dumb teenager, hard to say. But this was way before metrosexuality became associated with douchebags and Axe body spray, and I really liked reading a magazine that taught me to be as gay as possible without actually suggesting I should have sex with men. In retrospect, I may have missed the point there entirely; I think I was the only subscriber not having sex with men anyway.

By the way, I just realized that, as of 1996, I had never kissed a girl, spent every afternoon rehearsing for school plays, bought all my clothes at Structure, listened to a lot of Pet Shop Boys, sucked at sports, and received this magazine in the mail monthly:
Details Magazine, January 1996 -- it's the paper equivalent of blowing a sailor
It's a good thing I wasn't ever savagely beaten up in high school, because somebody would have been mistakenly convicted of a hate crime. Or I think it would have been "mistakenly." Honestly, at this point my heterosexuality looks like a sham even to me.