A: Most media outlets are calling Missouri for Clinton, but Obama has a 5K vote lead with 98% of precincts voting. By my math, there are only 17,000 votes left to be counted.
WTF, most media outlets?! YOU RACIST BASTARDS NEED NEW ABACUSES.
That's all I got for now. More soon. Go Obama.
UPDATE: This was a world exclusive. You're welcome. -- 04/05/08
A: You get three guesses. And they should all be "Germany."
It's "Bush's Best Friends,' by Rainer Hachfeld! Via the always surprisinger, often perplexinger international cartoonists @ Cagle Cartoons.
I find it sort of odd how only the non-U.S. media is properly emphasizing that Paul Wolfowitz is yet another boneheaded Bush appointee, and that perhaps his flagrant abuses of power aren't so unexpected.
But I always found it very odd that hardly anyone in this country complained when Donald Rumsfeld's bloodlusty number two was inexplicably appointed head of an organization that wields billions of dollars in funds for the benefit of developing nations.
It must have been announced on a Friday afternoon or something. At the time, the U.S. media barely seemed to notice the appointment, let alone question its logic (at least, that's how I remember it. I would confirm that, but I'm still too sick to be expected to do anything challenging or responsible).
A: They haven't happened yet. My top ten favorite George W. Bush moments will likely occur in succession on a single day in January, 2009. In the meantime, these ten — presented by David Letterman (via recorded segment) at this year's White House Correspondents Association Dinner — will have to do.
Sure, a Top Ten list's not as exciting as last year's WHCAD headliner, but as Wonkette points out, it could be worse.
RELATED: Letterman's "Top Ten" archives. Because no one actually watches Dave anymore, lest they miss you-know-who.
A: I recently discovered the excellent blog Regret the Error, which compiles the most notable, entertaining and/or embarrassing corrections from international media.
It's become an annual tradition at RtE to compile the best of the best errors and corrections at the end of the year. Granted, it's only January, but this gaffe from the Washington Post should probably be considered the horse to beat.
Kudos to Wonkette -- no slouch themselves when it comes to showcasing media absurdity -- for scooping RtE on that one.
RELATED: Regret the Error and Wonkette are both among the nominees for the 2007 Bloggies, now in its seventh year. RtE is up against the aforementioned Drawn! for Best Canadian Weblog; Wonkette is going for its third straight Best Weblog About Politics.
A: Good news is pouring into T.A.M.S.Y. today from Washington D.C.'s drunken witch doctors, a.k.a. the pollsters.
"Democrats have big lead after sex scandal," crows the Reuters headline, with new polls from Gallup and CNN showing the Dems up by an astounding 23 and 21 points, respectively. All of which bodes well for Blue Man Group's chances of overtaking the Red Army come Election Day. Huzzah, yay, etc.
As tough as times are, though, for Mark Foley and his former peers in the Republican-led Congress, the Washington Post wants you to know that it's even worse than you think. Apparently, it's not just their careers at stake anymore; the Republicans' incompetence now threatens to destroy the entire Earth:
I'm not a scientist, so I'm not entirely clear on what all this has to do with global warming. My theory: Ohio voters' passion for Senate candidate Sherrod Brown now burns so hot that it's melting the ozone. Either that, or Foley had a long weekend of instant messaging.
So when you punch out your ballot this Election Day, dear readers, T.A.M.S.Y. implores you to keep two things in mind: Remember to vote Democrat, and don't forget to wear sunscreen.
BTW: Sorry T.A.M.S.Y.'s been so quiet lately. Also, sorry T.A.M.S.Y.'s been so ugly. I recently upgraded to Blogger Beta (powered by my beloved Google!), and it's great, except no one mentioned that I was going to have to learn XML in order to make it look right. I should get around to that one of these days, or whatever.
Because kudos to them for uncovering this shocking development.
