Q: "How do I explain to a mom that her kid has herpes forever?"

Wrestling: Now even more like gay intercourse.

A: That's the question posed by Owatonna High School coach Scot Davis after a herpes outbreak forced a suspension of Minnesota's HS wrestling season. Awwwwwwkward.

I don't mean to make light of this story, but it's hard to hold back when the sidebar is headlined "South Dakota on herpes alert." Anyhoo, Scot, the best I can tell you is to go ask Alice.

On the bright side, it's only showing up on wrestlers' head, neck and face, which basically makes it like a really bad cold sore. Just remind everyone not to make love to the team from Rochester, and you should be just fine.

EARLIER: Are you a kitten with herpes?