Q: Will killing me bring back your goddamn honey?
A: No. You are pouring those bees into my face for nothing.1
1 In case this requires further explanation: While discussing how badly that Ghost Rider movie is going to suck, a Digg commenter cited this compilation of scenes from Nicolas Cage's The Wicker Man. I hadn't seen the film, nor these clips, and I found them deeply enlightening.
Try to imagine this as the montage that would be shown during the Oscars in a hellish dystopia where The Wicker Man had been nominated for Best Picture.
I'm almost curious to see the film now, just to know what series of events could have possibly led to (1) Nicolas Cage fist-fighting Leelee Sobieski and (2 through 100) whatever the fuck the rest of that was. But then I remembered I'm all out of weed. Also turpentine.
POST-SCRIPT: Wow -- "The Wicker Man" turns out to have directed by the (sometimes-)briliant playwright/filmmaker Neil LaBute, who was apparently not out of turpentine. He did a stellar job of covering up his involvement with this film, which appears to be the only stellar job he did involving this film.
Also surprising is that, according to IMDb, LaBute
, which is supposedly "a cult classic" and "Britain's greatest horror" movie. I guess something got lost in the non-translation.LaBute's first two films were both very strong: In the Company of Men and especially Your Friends & Neighbors. And then he drove his career off a cliff. Several times. He's still a solid playwright, though, last time I checked. -- 10:16PM
CORRECTION: IMDb is wrong: LaBute did rewrite Anthony Schaffer's original screenplay. He's even Razzie-nominated for it (Wicker is up for five Razzies, including Worst Picture — although to LaBute's credit, he was bumped from the Worst Director category by Ron Howard). And maybe it isn't fair to say LaBute covered up his involvement with the film, since he'd publicly defended it a month before its release (and he's still willing to discuss it with crappy British e-rags).
Also, someone in Spokane, WA recently found this post by blog-googling for references to the director. Spokane is LaBute's hometown, so: Neil, if you're reading this, I still love you. -- 02/10, 1:39PM
