The Answer May Surprise You
Showing posts with label predictions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label predictions. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Q: Why does Harry Reid pay kajillions of dollars to idiot consultants when he could just subscribe to T.A.M.S.Y. for free?

A: Just saw the new WaPo/ABC poll, in which Pres. W. hits a new low (as expected).

Meanwhile, Harry Reid's all-night-sleepaway camp resulted in a massive, unprecedented surge of support for congressional Democrats. Oh, no, wait, it didn't at all.

Just 35 percent said they approve of the way congressional Democrats are handling the situation in Iraq, with 63 percent disapproving...

The latest poll was conducted July 18 to 21 among a random sample of 1,125 adults, just after Senate Democrats failed to pass legislation that would set a timetable for the start of troop withdrawals from the war zone...

Congress's approval rating has declined over the past three months because self-identified Democrats have soured in their assessment.
Wow, I can't believe Reid's plan didn't work. Oh, no, wait, I can, and have, and did:
T.A.M.S.Y., Jul 18: One reason — perhaps the biggest reason — Congress' approval ratings are so low is because Americans have the impression no one is getting anything done. Spending all night very dramatically not getting anything done, in the midst of a media frenzy, isn't going to help that.
Yes, it's thanks to brilliant predictions like that that my blog is now read by upwards of several people.

MORE FROM MY CRYSTAL BALL: Sometime in the near future, John Edwards is going to smile so wide, it will expose several of his teeth. I also expect him to reveal his father's profession to have involved some sort of work in a mine. MARK IT DOWN. Meanwhile, Barack Obama will continue to be black.

YO HARRY BABY: Subscribe to T.A.M.S.Y. already. It's totally free, plus you get a shoe phone.1


1 Shoe phone offer does not include shoe phone.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Q: Is President Bush gellin'?

A: Yuh huh. Like a felon. [via Sullivan]


(Earlier today, I was going to make a joke about the motto for Folgers coffee being "The best part of wakin' up..." but I decided it wasn't timely enough. And yet gellin' jokes still = comedy gold? Yes, yes they are. Also, dude, get a Dell.)

Anyway, where was I? Oh right, George W. Bush is so going to prison, circa 2011. Patience.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Q: Who reanimated the corpse of the electric car?

Google's plug-in hybrid electric car: It's a real pussy wagonI'm in love with their car.

A: My girlfriend Google, apparently. I somehow missed it when they announced it last month, but the company is building a "small fleet of plug-in [hybrid electric vehicles]," with fuel efficiencies of 70-100 miles per gallon. Not bad; of cars you can actually buy, the most efficient (by far, incidentally) is the Toyota Prius at 35-50 mpg, half of what the Googlemobile offers.

My girlfriend GoogleGoogle says its goal here "is to demonstrate the plug-in hybrid and V2G technology, get people excited about having their own plug-in hybrid, and encourage car companies to start building them soon." So I guess we shouldn't expect them to get into the automotive industry anytime soon...OR SHOULD WE?

MARK IT DOWN: In 2011, Google will use the change under Sergey Brin's couch cushion to acquire General Motors when it is put up for sale at the Wayne County sheriff's auction. By 2015, the oil crisis will have been averted, and global warming will be relegated to the status of the pet rock and the slap bracelet, a cultural relic. In 2017, we will all die in a plague.