Q: Was headline also partly swallowed by shark?

Australian diver says partly swallowed by shark [Reuters]

A: No, Reuters just hired Borat as a copy editor. They simply adore his coverage of the Jews.

Q: What, the old headline wasn't condescending enough?

A: Thanks, New York Times. Way to rub it in.

• Yes, You Can Surf in Cleveland, Before the Brown Water Freezes [NYT]

EARLIER: Yes, You Can Surf in Cleveland

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RED SCARE: On Friday -- the day after the Hard Rock Cafe became big business news -- Reuters ran a completely unrelated feature on Don Bernstine, the Hard Rock's "memorabilia hunter."

The story's author, Jonathan Oatis, apparently wasn't aware of the impending sale of the chain to the Florida Seminole tribe when he wrote the story, but Bernstine might have had an inkling...

Don Bernstine travels the world visiting rock stars in their homes and backstage and spends tens of thousands of dollars of his employer's money buying guitars, concert costumes and other music memorabilia.

So, it's no surprise that the Hard Rock Cafe's memorabilia hunter says he'll give up his job when someone pries it from his "cold, dead fingers."

Jeez, kemosabe, put down your dukes! The whole Custer's-last-stand routine is sooooo 1876.

Besides, what makes you so paranoid about getting axed? You think an organization of Native Americans will be somehow uncomfortable with the concept of being taught to hunt by a white man?

Oh, wait...

EARLIER: Rumored New Policies at the Hard Rock Cafe