Good luck movin' up cuz you're... bustin' out
A: You ought to know by now...
You ought to, that is, if you happen to be
Alice Alyse, the actress/dancer/model/ crazy person who is suing the folks behind
Movin' Out, the
Billy Joel musical, for $100 million after they
made fun of her large breasts.
On a related note, three million people just googled
Alice Alyse.
Alyse, a former member of the
Movin' Out ensemble who says she was wrongly fired from the show in February, is also angry with the show's managers for accusing her of faking her fake toe injury.
If she wins the $100 million suit, Alyse will reportedly be trading in her Chevy for a Cadillac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac.
Actually, this might be the most brilliant lawsuit of the modern age.
It's a win-win situation; even if she loses, she will still have brought attention to her enormous breasts, which in the world of acting/modeling is known as "networking."
This case also gives us an answer to the question of whether the craziness inherent in being an actress/model/dancer is cancelled out by the craziness that comes with having huge tees. It turns out that, no, the crazy just gets multiplied.
Alas, the producers of Movin' Out probably should have taken the advice of Sergeant O'Leary, the policeman/bartender who works at Mr. Caccitore's down on Sullivan Street, across from the medical center.
As O'Leary once famously pointed out, "You should never argue with a crazy mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mind."
By the way, if you're not a Billy Joel fan, you missing out on some solid gold jokes here.
