Q: Where is T.A.M.S.Y.?

A: New research indicates that I may have blogged myself to death.

Q: What, the old headline wasn't condescending enough?

A: Thanks, New York Times. Way to rub it in.

• Yes, You Can Surf in Cleveland, Before the Brown Water Freezes [NYT]

EARLIER: Yes, You Can Surf in Cleveland

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RED SCARE: On Friday -- the day after the Hard Rock Cafe became big business news -- Reuters ran a completely unrelated feature on Don Bernstine, the Hard Rock's "memorabilia hunter."

The story's author, Jonathan Oatis, apparently wasn't aware of the impending sale of the chain to the Florida Seminole tribe when he wrote the story, but Bernstine might have had an inkling...

Don Bernstine travels the world visiting rock stars in their homes and backstage and spends tens of thousands of dollars of his employer's money buying guitars, concert costumes and other music memorabilia.

So, it's no surprise that the Hard Rock Cafe's memorabilia hunter says he'll give up his job when someone pries it from his "cold, dead fingers."

Jeez, kemosabe, put down your dukes! The whole Custer's-last-stand routine is sooooo 1876.

Besides, what makes you so paranoid about getting axed? You think an organization of Native Americans will be somehow uncomfortable with the concept of being taught to hunt by a white man?

Oh, wait...

EARLIER: Rumored New Policies at the Hard Rock Cafe

Q: Didn't they always say there was no surf in Cleveland, USA?

A: Damn you, Euclid Beach Band, for your dirty lies.


The New York Times today has an expose on the Cleveland surf community: Yes, You Can Surf in Cleveland.

“Cleveland surfers have a reputation for being gritty and hard-core,” said Ryan Gerard, owner of Third Coast Surf Shop in New Buffalo, Mich. “They just don’t care what other people think about them.”

Occasionally there are days when the waves are good and the sunset falls into Lake Erie like a red fire and the Cleveland surfers bob silently in the water, alone in the city. And they laugh at their good fortune.

“Nobody surfs here to get noticed,” Scott Ditzenberger said. “We surf here because we love it.”

Speaking of not getting noticed, I've never heard of a Cleveland surf community. Wait, is the Times still running stories by Jayson Blair?

While I'm running photos from the Times, check out this sweet shot of the Discovery launch in Cape Canaveral yesterday:


As per always, click to enlarge.

Q: Why is Virginia still a pale shade of yellow?

Bob Ross: Is ready when you are, Virginia Board of Elections.

A: These jokers down South apparently think the Senate race is still up for grabs! How adorable.

Um, guys, I hate to break up the party, but you can put away your abacuses -- T.A.M.S.Y. already called Virginia for the Democrats like a million years ago. Not to mention I'm pretty sure we all decided ("we" being "me") that control of the Senate had been Montana's to decide. You think I go around Photoshopping news that doesn't exist? Macaca please.

(Christ, sometimes it's as if the entire nation isn't even reading my blog...)

Point being: It's long past time for the New York Times to put their money where their liberal bias is and paint that beyotch blue already.

Honestly, I haven't seen such irresponsible laziness since Tom Sawyer tricked me into whitewashing that fence. God, what an asshole.