Hint: Not like a tsunami.
A: Look, I know my efforts to get to the West Coast have been an ongoing comedy of automotive error, leaving me to delay my arrival continually and now indefinitely, but this is ridiculous!
ALT. JOKE: Look, I know I'm hard on our Southern neighbors for producing probably
the worst Attorney General in American history, but this is ridiculous!
ALT. ALT. JOKE, CUZ C'MON, I ONLY GET ONE HURRICANE: Look, I know I hate the Yucatan Peninsula with all my heart, but this is —
Never mind.
(That reminds me, did I ever blog about the time I was a journalist
traveling in Haiti a couple months after Hurricane Ivan, and I spent a few hours in the devastated city of
Gonaïves, conversing in broken Franglish with a 20-something man who repeatedly and dispassionately stated "Je suis un zombie," because his home and workplace had been destroyed, and both his parents killed, by the mudslides that inevitably follow tropical storms in Haiti (thanks to decades of deforestation and environmental recklessness perpetrated by exploitative consumerist nations such as the United States), leaving him with nothing to do but wander the countryside, starving and alone — a conversation that forced me, for the first time, to confront the unresolvable horror of the majority of human existence, shattering my faith in the restorative powers of journalism and propelling me headlong into a state of confusion, guilt, and terrified detachment forever? BECAUSE IT'S A REAL GAS.)
I'd uploaded
this song by the Scorpions, but now it seems kind of gauche.
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