The Answer May Surprise You
Showing posts with label wtf. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wtf. Show all posts

Friday, January 12, 2007

Q: But seriously, what the hell is going on with these gas-related disasters and dead birds?

Is the end nigh? The answer may not surprise Al Gore

A: I was both amused and slightly frightened by this pair of Wonkette posts Monday, noting that there was a ton of fucked-up shit going on pretty much everywhere in the world, much of it involving natural gas mishaps (slash mercaptan mishaps).

One standout disaster was that of Austin, Texas, where the downtown area had to be shut down as the streets were suddenly littered with the corpses of 60 birds, all dead for no known reason. Which is, you know, a little creepy.

So it was even creepier when the news broke that the same thing was happening around the same time on the other side of the globe, in Esperance, Australia -- except in Esperance, it wasn't just 60 birds. It was, like, all of them. Said local Michelle Crisp, "We literally didn't have any birds left to die."
Big Bird: Surprisingly more grizzledFor some reason, very few media outlets or bloggers seem to be noting the strange connection here.1 But is anyone else starting to feel like this is the opening 15 minutes to an apocalyptic disaster movie? I'm particularly concerned for my precocious daughter Dakota Fanning, to whom I've never been a very good father.


While I'm on the subject of weird coincidences: A couple of days ago, these two unrelated, yet totally dueling, stories popped up in my RSS feeder, literally one item apart:

1 Or possibly all of them are talking about it. I'm way behind in my reading.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Q: Did you hear the one about the mysterious disappearance of Jesus' foreskin?

Jesus Christ is like totally creeped out right nowJ.C. Uncut: "Um, guys? You're kind of weirding me out here."

A: That's not the elaborate setup for a joke. It's the elaborate setup for an actual news story: Who Stole Jesus' Foreskin? [Slate]

And if you think that sounds weird, trust me, it's way weirder than you think. I don't want to give too much away, but just consider the following tidbits:
  • Jesus Christ's foreskin was the pride of an Italian city for over 400 years...
  • And officially recognized as a holy relic by the Vatican...
  • Until 1900, when the Catholic Church opted to cancel the annual Feast of the Circumcision...
  • At which point it banned anyone from ever mentioning the foreskin again.
  • And then recently, it was stolen, probably either by the Vatican or hippies.
Really. No, seriously. I'm not joking. Read the story.

And Americans think Islam is weird?

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Q: Is this cruelty to animals?

A: No -- it's COOL-ty to animals!!!!!!



Also, someone in Asia has too much free time. Or possibly everyone in Asia -- between the live-action hamster video games, the robot-bukkake cartoons, the psychedelic game shows and the South Korean labor camps, it's like the whole continent is addicted to WTF.